


Don’t Microwave Animals

by LiteralCancerTM



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Countries Using Human Names, Flashback, Human AU, Luddy and Gil’s dynamics in this are adorable istg, M/M, Mild Gore, Prumano - Freeform, baby possums, even if you don’t ship prumano- there’s barely any in it, worth the read I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 19:48:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16817272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiteralCancerTM/pseuds/LiteralCancerTM
Summary: Gilbert recalls the stupidest thing he did as a child - written for school - turned in for marks.





	Don’t Microwave Animals

Rainy days were days to relax and sleep in. At least, in Lovino’s opinion. He’d managed to convince his boyfriend to take the day off so they could laze around together and just enjoy each other’s company. As of now, they cuddled together in the bed, Lovino in Gilbert’s arms. 

“Have you always been as stupid as you are now?” Lovino asked, moving to look over his shoulder at the man behind him. 

Gilbert chuckled, nodding slightly. “Do you mean as awesome? Because, yes, I’ve always been this awesome.”

The Italian huffed, turning away. “No, I mean stupid.” He paused. “Tell me something stupid you did as a kid. I’ll decide for you, jerk.”

“You really want to know?”

“Si.”

“Well, it was a rainy day just like this one…”

\---

_ Eight year-old Gilbert and six year-old Ludwig were left home alone by their grandfather who had to go out for groceries. This would be Gilbert’s first time being home alone and in charge of someone, so he was relatively excited. He was going to make his poor, little brother do whatever he wanted! _

_ “Luddy!” he hollered, checking rooms for him. Where did the little rascal run off to this time? _

_ Ludwig poked his head out of his room where he had been drawing. “Yes, brother?” _

_ The elder grinned and bounded up to him. “We’re going to go outside, ‘kay?” He was already in the process of dragging Ludwig to the front of the house so they could put on their shoes. _

_ He sighed. “But I wanted to finish colouring,” Ludwig weakly protested. Though, knowing his brother, he wasn’t going to get out of this. Especially when their grandfather wasn’t home. He slipped on his shoes and tied them, then watching Gilbert try to tie his own shoes in vain. Being the nice young kid he was, he helped Gilbert tie them. He kind of even took pity on his elder brother.. _

_ “Don’t care.” The albino dragged him outside and to the front so they could play in the mud.  _

_ “Brother..” Ludwig whined, staring disdainfully at all the mud at their feet, “We’re going to get our shoes dirty then Grosvater will get us in trouble…” _

_ Gilbert turned to look at the other kid. “We can just wash them, silly! C’mon!” He grabbed Ludwig’s wrist and pulled him over, causing him to trip and fall in the mud. “Now we’ll just have to wash all your clothes anyway- so get down and dirty, kiddo!” _

_ Ludwig sighed again.  _

_ After maybe ten minutes of mud fights and dancing in the rain, Gilbert took notice of some odd noises coming from under the porch so he left Ludwig to go investigate. Crawling on his hands and knees, he wriggled under the porch, gasping at what he saw. “Luddy, Luddy! Come look!” _

_ Ludwig came over with another sigh. His brother probably just found some good dirt to eat. He couldn’t fit in next to Gilbert so he just kneeled beside his feet. “What did you find?” _

_ There were muffled noises of something like clicking and Gilbert muttering to himself. Soon, he was crawling back out with five opossum babies in his hands. “Look, Luddy! Aren’t they so cute?” _

_ The blonde kid fell back in surprise, even scooching himself away from Gilbert and the animals. “W-what are those?” he asked, getting to his feet. _

_ “They’re, um… babies! I don’t know what type of babies.” Gilbert stood up, too, the critters still in his hands. “Come pet them! They’re soft for orphans.” _

_ Ludwig slowly approached. “That doesn’t make sense.” He tentatively reached out to touch one quickly. It hissed at him. “Brother, you should put them back… I don’t even think opossums are supposed to live here in Germany.” _

_ “Nonsense!” Gilbert hugged them close. “Hey, they’re kind of cold, we should warm them up.” _

_ “But-” It was too late- Gilbert was already going inside with the animals. By now, sighing was something he was growing fond of when it came to his brother.  _

_ Gilbert placed the opossums in a cardboard box. He’d tracked mud through the house but he didn’t care. Ludwig was in the process of trying to clean up the mud his older brother had tracked in. “Hey, Luddy, I think we should put them in the oven to warm them up.” He gazed down at them and pet one softly. He screeched when it bit him. _

_ “I think opossums are supposed to be cold… But you can’t put them in the oven- it’ll be too hot.” _

_ “Oh, you’re right.” Gilbert carried the box of babies to the kitchen where Ludwig couldn’t see them anymore. A couple minutes later and Gilbert returned to see what Ludwig was doing. “You’re still trying to clean the mud? I think you’re just rubbing it in the carpet.” _

_ Ludwig looked up at him with a little glare. “At least I’m trying. Hey, where are those animals?” _

_ Gilbert shoved his hands in his pockets. “I put them in the microwave since it isn’t as hot.” _

_ “Um…” Ludwig stood up and hurried to the kitchen. Sure enough, there were five baby opossums in the microwave, hissing and pawing at the door of the machine. “Gilbert, I think it’s still too hot.” _

_ The albino had come up behind him. “No way! Look, they’re having fun!”  _

_ Even if that didn’t seem to be what was happening, Ludwig trusted Gilbert. He was his older brother, after all. “Fine. How long did you put them in there for, anyway?” _

_ “Like twenty minutes.” _

_ “Okay.” Ludwig went off to go finish cleaning so they didn’t get in trouble. Maybe ten minutes later, he heard a loud POP and screaming. He figured Gilbert just popped a balloon and scared himself. But he was still worried.  _

_ “LUDWIG!!!”  _

_ Ah, there it was. He went to go find his sibling. “What did you do this time, brother?” He found him in the kitchen, somehow paler than he already was. “What happened?” _

_ Gilbert just pointed at the microwave. It was still going and there was blood and fur on the inside. “They blew up…” _

\---

By now, Lovino had wriggled out from Gilbert’s arms and was on the other side of the bed, glaring at him. “So you blew up some poor baby animals??” he reiterated, kind of disgusted, “Wow, you’re way more stupid than I originally thought…”

“Oh come now, you wanted to know. Plus, I was, like, eight.” Gilbert grinned. “You can’t blame me for stuff I did when I was in grade two!” 

“I really can.” Lovino didn’t really know what else to say so he just got up and headed over to the bathroom to have a bath. “Don’t bother making breakfast- I don’t trust you with kitchen appliances anymore.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I need help.


End file.
